Sare Agama

*sighs* My dear Jamie, what am I going to do with you? What vole? It says so in the story. She could scent vole and rabbit NOW do you get ...

yay! Someone agrees with me! *High fives*

The cliff-like rock formation was arranged in a crescent half-circle, facing them. I think you should either take out crescent or half-circle. You should probably say The cliff-like rock formation ...

Aww shucks! :oops: :oops: lol: I think I have time now to post more. Even though Ygaron is pestering me to get on, I should be able to squeeze this ...

Such wonderful compliments, and I'm only 11! :D I only have time to edit the ending, Ygaron and Kyte's birth-day party is today. :roll: Ah well, such is the life ...

In the books, for example Firestar's Quest, the prologue has it taking place in the forest WAY before the cats in the forest now. That's why i skipped ahead. I'm ...

If only my brothers could give me a critique like that! Thanks for pointing out the title thing. BTW, which books have you read? I've read all of them, unless ...

Sorry it took so long to reply, but thank you for your wonderful critique! I'll leave the allegiances up, just in case someone does read them! :D But yes, I ...

Sorry it took so long to reply, but thanks for the suggestions! I think I'll change it to the end of Summer, because I have some better names for it. ...

But pa hadn't. hadn't what? "Come?" You probably missed a part in the story. Spring had come at last, much to everybody's relief. But pa hadn't. Here it's saying that ...

Thanks, I'll add in more A.S.A.P. I'll pm you when I've added it. Should I add the action or dialogue/character entry before or after the entry? As for the beginning, ...

This is only part of the story, I haven't finished it yet. This is also my first story so please critique as much as needed. Vashoa stared out over the ...